One year in the 254

Well, it has been a full year since we arrived in Nairobi.  Truly, the days are long but the years are short.  When we arrived, we remember being dumbstruck by the casual beauty of our surroundings – in particular, the blossoming of the lavender-coloured jacaranda flowers. Right on time, a year later, here they are again, covering your car and house in a sweet smelling carpet.  We are innured to the beauty around us, but far from entirely!

Above: View of the Jacaranda tree outside our house.

Anyway, the point of this blog entry is capture, for ourselves and for our distant loved ones, the sense of living here for a prolonged period of time, and the slow accretion of a sense of a nucleus here.

Despite the move, the new hemisphere, the new job, the new house(s) etc. – the single biggest change in our lives in the last twelve months has definitely been the safe and joyous arrival of our baby F.  What a guy!  Being a parent does to your flow of love what a good internet connection does to your flow of information.  For my part, I’ve definitely got baby fever, and hope to be able to convince A. to perhaps spawn/adopt another.

 

The art of the side-step

The year with S. has been so rich/frustrating, that I have finally (with much high-volume coaching from A.) become adept at the art of the side-step.  Which is, of course, the way to avoid taking her (or indeed any parenting activity) on head-on. 

Is S. shinging (i.e. singing at a shouting volume) a song which consists solely of the word ‘Poopie-pie’ looped over the loose tune of Yellow Submarine?  No problem, in fact, sing along because this will establish that this is not something which will elicit a bonkers reaction from you.  This doesn’t sound very value-added in black and white, but has been for me a costly lesson to learn.  I hope to reap the benefits with baby F. (who still seems incapable of a naughty thought or act!)

Compromise in manners

Being an expat, it is very easy to slide into sloppy thinking and just plain bad manners.  As I sit in this restaurant, for instance, I have seen a little blonde kid studiously emptying the pepper mill onto the table top, while his mother stares into the middle distance, drawing absent-mindedly on her cigarette.  The mother has not made eye contact with the waitress once since she and her child have been in the restaurant.  Is this a pedestrian example – yes?  But is it emblematic of the creeping sense of entitlement which can accompany living in a place where you are completely unmoored from the local socio-economic realities – also an emphatic yes.  

I can’t pretend that we have come up with a perfect solution.  For now, our family motto is ‘Course Correction’ – in that we try to regularly take the pulse of what makes us feel uncomfortable and then take actions (however subtle or infrequent) to address this.  S. will sometimes, and entirely unwittingly, say things which provide a dizzying insight into the stuff she must hear at her school – most recent example, “You know X, she only had 2 nannies. Haha!” (Which, as a taunt, makes no sense because we just have the one, but I guess she is just parroting what she had heard.)

The Missing of the Loved Ones

With F. and S. around, it is very easy to get a sense of how rich a period this is in our lives, and yet we are so far from our family and friends.  As nice as people are here (and a very few friends we had from before we came here, and who happen to live here, notwithstanding), it is disorienting to be amongst people who have only known us a year.  Happily, most people on the expat circuit are experts at glossing this over by bonding over kid things and extravagant holidays, all of which accelerate the hell out of the bonding process. This said, one year into our tour here, we already have a first batch of friends talking of new postings and moves away from Nairobi.  There are times when we worry at the sense of rootlessness. 

 

Too Paranoid  vs. Not Paranoid Enough

The security aspect of living in Nairobi remains baffling.  One minute you will be reading a newspaper in a leafy café, and the very next you will read in said newspaper about a violent act committed not ten minutes from where you are sitting.  This said, neither we nor any of the people who have visited us have had any sort of unpleasant or disturbing experience whatsoever while living here.  Alert fatigue quickly sets in, but then the whiff of constant and avoidable human suffering remains in your nostrils at all times, in a way that (even in Brooklyn) was just not there before we moved.  This said, the poster below (located in my Karate dojo), really took my mind off the training session:

 Above: Hmm, maybe we should go elsewhere...

Things we've seen in the last year

 

 Above: S. the experienced traveler!

Above: S.'s fave buddy - Ivanis the security guard.  Little-known fact: all expat kids think being a security guard is just about the coolest, most glamorous job in the world!

 

Above: Obligatory shot of Maasai bush-walk guide on safari

 

 

  Above: Hornbill munching on the flame cactus outside our bedroom window (No, I did not use a zoom!)

 

 Above: S. swims her first full length of a pool!

  Above: Getting the hair done...

Above: Yours truly hosts a very well received play-date!

On Working (and living) in Africa (Anno)

One year into my first tour on the continent, I’m moved and excited by my job.  Every assignment presents the prospect of learning about a new country, a new political issue and at heart, a distinct culture. I work with toilets, and more specifically, the task of making the 123 million people who don’t use one in the region, use one. That may seem no more than an issue of building toilets but my job has nothing to do with that really.   Toilets need maintenance and the buy-in of the people using them (think about your own cleaning rituals etc.) so merely setting up 123 million porta-johns is wrong-headed in the extreme.

Recently, for instance, I facilitated a workshop with 20 Somalis on the issue of introducing a shock and awe method of behavior change for open defecation which has been particularly effective (CLTS). The issues we tackled ranged from NGO personnel being cursed to inciting inter-community violence, to the more practical issues of how do we do this with no government health agency in place to support? In Kenya, where the country has a national target to reach Open Defecation Free (i.e. every member of the national population has sustainable access to a working toilet, and, moreover, is using it) status in 2 years, the work has focused on helping the country get a handle on the numbers, how to keep people from reverting to their old habits and looking at ways to stimulate the private sector to meet the demand of all the newly converted toilet users.

I also work on water but the work on sanitation is imbued with a sense of challenge, humour, pioneering spirit and taboo, all of which make it particularly exciting and interesting to work on.  Shit calculations, shit mapping and shit thesauruses are part of my daily lexicon. Upcoming trips involve work in South Sudan, Zimbabwe and Burundi, and I can honestly say I’m looking forward to this shit!

Apart from work, the year here has been filled with joys and tribulations. The biggest and most undiluted joys of course are S. and F.  Spending more time with them, having the balance that we had been seeking (aided of course by living 5min from work, a generous breastfeeding policy, and plenty of domestic help), and being able to see them thrive in this very stimulating environment. S. is empathetic and confident, and is loving the school here – all the while developing a seriously Kenyan accent!  F., for his part is soaking up all the attention and love from everyone and is just a wonderful baby – one of my Somali colleagues said ‘he’s the hero!’, referring to his name in Arabic, and he’s definitely our hero, being the unbelievable kid he is. 

The tribulations have included the distance and malaise with expat living. We are far from family and it is a major investment to go on an overseas trip. We accordingly worry about our kids being so far from family. On the other hand, we’ve had more visitors so far than we’ve had in any other location so that’s a bonus.  The expat scene can quickly become house-of-mirrorish, and we’re consciously aware that our expectations of normalcy may never be met and so in some sense we have tried to evolve ourselves and cultivate our own family’s culture and rituals.  We’ve never friendship dated so much in our lives -  i.e. having dates for the purpose of possibly befriending other couples, etc.  It’s very normal here, but as with normal dating, it’s exhausting and emotionally taxing.  Nonetheless, we definitely have friends and peers with whom we vacation and hang out.  

The other thing which has taken some getting used to is the whittling away of the sphere of privacy.  The concept of personal affairs no longer exists, having three people working in the house and friends and staff that are interwoven in the social fabric (i.e. my nanny today, yours tomorrow).  Additionally, Nairobi is a big tiny city where you are guaranteed to meet someone you know everywhere you go – the lines between home/work/vacation are very blurred and this can at times be disorienting.

Of course the best part of living in Kenya has been the opportunity to see the country, experience the outdoors and be in the most beautiful climate/geography on the planet. We plan to do more of that in the coming year. I hope to have mastered horse-riding and to have done a few more ambitious trips with the kids now being older.

 

What we did this summer

I haven't blogged for a while on account of (a) we had family and friends visiting throughout the summer, (b) S. was off school for a while, and (c) I'm pretty lazy and, more damagingly, good at rationalizing lazy behaviour patterns.

But let's not dwell on that now.  The important thing is that I'm back (second only to S. being back in school - the last few days of the summer hols were quite trying for our relationship).  No, instead, below is a photo essay entitled 'What we did this summer'.  The idea is not to be exhaustive, but to focus on events/things where I felt we created something (as opposed to having been entertained by something passively).  You know what they say, you have to make your own fun, otherwise it is just entertainment. 

Which is why there are very few pictures of animals seen on safari.  After the family visits, I think we are officially safaried out for now.
[Ed - When my mother pointed out a herd of giraffe on day 2 of our safari, I had the exact same reaction as if someone had pointed out a guy with really tight jeans and oversized sunglasses in Williamsburg.] 

Without further ado...

1.  Unflappable Baby F. - This little guy is so sweet-natured that I have considered conducting a covert DNA test to ascertain whether we are, in fact, related to one another.  (I'm self-aware enough to admit that I'm not exactly Mr. Sunshine all the time.)  But F., on the other hand, is pretty well all smiles all the time, even when his mother is doing ye olde smile-out-of-an-orange-rind trick (which still works btw!, but constitutes parenting malpractice in many places)  He is well into solid foods now, slurping back such delicacies as pureed moong dal, butter nut squash, and anything he can get his hands on. 
Great eater, great sleeper, great traveler, laughs at almost all my jokes = great guy all around! You're my boy blue!!

2.  S. gets bigger and suspects the pie chart nature of her parents' affections - S. is growing and changing a vue de l'oeil.  She is funny, empathetic, and a great (if a little physical) big sister.  I think the highlight of her summer was when her cousins and grandparents came to visit. 
Funny things she says at this stage:
- Leafuz (plural form of a leaf)
- Ubmlella (instead of umbrella)
- Heeya (instead of 'here' - some sort of faux Kenyan thing going on there I think)

 

  Above: You can take the teacher out of the classroom...

 

 3.  Obligatory safari shots
CAUTION: EXTREMELY GRAPHIC SHOT OF DEAD ANIMAL BELOW - PROCEED WITH CARE

Above: Tusker in Amboselli (place of the salty dust, in Maasai), with rear view mirror of the car to provide a sense of scale and distance.

Above: As I've mentioned, I do not use a zoom lens, even on safari.  The national parks in Kenya are rife with human/wildlife conflict. It is a bit weird, for instance, that we pay the Kenya Wildlife Service (KWS) hundreds of $s for the privilege of spending a day in a national park while the people living just outside are living hand to mount.  This elephant (named 'Harry') was speared to death by a Maasai elder for allegedly trampling some crops.  Upon Harry's death, the protein-deprived citizenry descended upon the still warm carcass and began carving it up for distribution.  While I was taking this shot, I was standing next to a six year old Maasai girl with her eyes lit up with excitement and flecks of blood on her cheek.  At the time of the photograph, the KWS crew (off-camera to the right) is loading the tusks, which they have hacked off the face of the elephant, into a pick-up truck.  As a side note, and en tant que martial artist, I was also very impressed with the fact that a creature like this cold be killed with a spear - while I might hate it, that takes skill and brass.
 

Above: We come upon a lioness and her 7 cubs in Nakuru Park!  Given my zoomless philosophy, it was way more rewarding to record my travel-mates' reactions!

4.  Things we made.  Over S.'s summer holiday, I really wanted to make a lot of things with her.  Both because I thought it would be fun, and because I think it triggers a lot of other wacky follow-up projects and ideas.  But I knew I was overdoing it one day on a walk in the forest when I jokingly threw my granola bar wrapper on the floor and asked S. what we should do with it.  Without batting an eyelid, she bent down, picked it up, and said 'An art project?' 
Like I said, she's a truly funny girl!
 

 

Above: Being married to a WASH specialist, I am entirely unfazed by having a coffee mug in the form of a toilet bowl in our house.  S, however, decided to make a pineapple flavoured jello (gross tasting BTW) in said cup, with the result above.  Apple is for scale only (ok and maybe to get rid of the awful chemical after-taste of the jello)

 

 Above: We have a tree in our garden which has these really cool seeds/pods.  We made some 'crocodiles'!  The second photo is the underside of the pod. 


Below: Our scarecrow and herb and veggie garden.  We have the usual herbs, tomatoes, butter nut, carrots, and the ubiquitous Sukuma Wiki (a Kenyan variety of spinach, which means to 'push weakly' because poor people eat it when they are hungry.  It grows like a weed here). 

 

Above: Strawberry bushes in the morning sun


5.  In which I get artistic.  Self-explanatory, really.

March 2012

Save LAMU (from itself, really)

We travelled in March 2012 to Lamu- yes, that Lamu, scene of the most recent Somali pirate drama and a place now considered ‘dangerous’ in Kenya.  First off, let’s talk about the vacation itself (as opposed to the various socio-political theories which the place gives rise to) – we loved Lamu, in fact I liked it so much that I intend to organize a ‘save Lamu’ beach ultimate tourney one day when I’m back in the swing of things (you know how ultlimate Frisbee has that ability to galvanize the world under a common umbrella of goodwill and happiness..). But I digress… what’s not to like about Lamu – 12 glorious kms of wild beach – upon which you will encounter very few fellow tourists, winds, drifting dhows, sand dunes and camels. The Lamu locals are a laid-back lot, with a good sense of humour and good natured. Plus there’s fun to be had – going for Dhow (Arab sail boats) rides, playing at the beach, shopping and exploring in ancient Lamu town , donkey/camel rides and all the usual resort type fare (windsurfing, kayaking, etc)… Plus we stayed at a really nice place (ordinarily unaffordable to such types as ourselves, but for the chilling effect of the Somali kidnappers etc) – an old Swahili mansion renovated by a French architect… a whole house to ourselves with staff, a pool and the most fabulous chef who treated us to full course menu dinners nightly based on the local supply – read: seafood galore – locally sourced oysters, lobster, calamari… and my favourite part was that you could go meet the fisherman each morning and put in an ‘order’ for oysters or a tuna and they’d have it to your house by lunch – it’s amazing what humans can simply get used to!

But now, the real reason for this blog, the more serious, dark side of this entry…the real deal on the Lamu Port project, the kidnappings, Sudanese oil and the war in Somalia, and a rogue CIA agent with significant memory loss… yes, all of that (ok the last part is from a recent series of Matt Damon films). 

So many of you probably heard about the French tourist who was (allegedly) kidnapped by Somali pirates, news of which promptly served to kill the tourist industry in Lamu? Let’s start there… apparently the night of the kidnapping, several calls for help were placed to local police and the district commissioner. The locals claim that none of the calls were answered and that a crime of that scale not only is difficult to pull off (Somali s hundred of kilometres away by boat) without local knowledge but that somehow that there was high level complicity in what transpired. The kidnappers were never apprehended and the claim that they were Somali pirates is itself unsubstantiated and frankly somewhat suspect given the cocktail of events unfolding in the Lamu area and in the region in fact. 

Next, the Lamu Port project, a nationally led infrastructure project of gigantesque proportions, financially backed by the Chinese and serving the purpose of allowing South Sudanese oil a safe and lucrative outlet from the continent. This project has been in the pipeline for some 20 years but just broke ground in the past few weeks. Why now, and qui bono? Looking at any East African map, it is clear that the more obvious port for South Sudan would be Somalia, but given that country’s special needs status, Kenya becomes an attractive alternative. However Somalia is on the up and up (yes, really that’s what I think) and it’s just a matter of time before they get their act together to not only refine their own oil but also to possibly serve as a port for other countries. In the meantime, Kenya has been quick to not only cash in and seal their fate as the major port for South Sudanese oil but they’ve also put themselves forward as a regional stabilizing force by invading Somalia (which had the joint purposes of making themselves look good regionally, giving their under-experienced military a nice little work-out, creating a regional alliance and taking Somalia out of the South Sudanese oil discussions- I suppose this last a bit tenuous since they were unlikely to be part of them given their ridiculous state of affairs.) 

The kidnapping in Lamu paved  the way for the Lamu Port project by doing the following:

-          It killed off the tourists – it’s literally dead in Lamu  - no one wants to go there for fear of ‘Somali pirates’ and this has been convenient because it takes away any high profile opposition to the Port Project (many celebrities and royalty make their vacation homes in Lamu) in addition to any local protests.   The authorities can then table the Port Project as a value added alternative to high end tourism, bringing jobs to the newly devastated local economy.

The Lamu Port Project in turn does the following:

• Secures Kenya as the strategic port for South Sudanese oil, soon after South Sudan established itself as the continents’ newest country
• Promises massive revenues for years to come for Kenya
• Probably has a major payout right now from the Chinese (who are keen to have access to South Sudanese oil) to the national politicians (read: President) who have actively pushed this project along.
• Helps South Sudan establish itself ahead of Somalia as a regional exporter of oil

So basically the conspiracy goes as follows: the government at its highest level orchestrated the Lamu kidnapping of the French tourist to give it a reason to invade Somalia so as to further destabilize the country, while simultaneously making plans to secure a very lucrative port project in Lamu before Somalia gets its act together… in the process making Lamu a dead tourist town to kill opposition to the project and allow the project to run as planned in the UNESCO heritage site and some of the most beautiful coral reefs in the country. 

There, we said it. So our take… Lamu is safe, go there, support the local communities and save Lamu (just don’t invite that sanctimonious blowhard Bono!)

World Tour 2012 - Reflections on the trip

May 2012

As most of you know, we’ve just returned from an epic vacation travelling to Canada (Ottawa)/Switzerland (Geneva) and the US (New York). Just to contextualize a bit… we flew from Nairobi to Geneva, spent a week there stuffing ourselves on all the fatty carby goodness that Switzerland has to offer as well as the more wholesome and delicious homecooking of Ammi (Aki’s mum).  Then onto Canada where we based ourselves for the next three weeks reuniting with family time on the Thomas side, neighbours, friends and colleagues from our previous lives in New York, and then back to Geneva where we spent some time in the mountains outside Geneva with family, hiking and eating ourselves silly till at last we felt sated and ready to be rolled onto the plane for the journey back to Nairobi.

We can thusly attest to the fact that it is extremely disorienting to spend one weekend with family in a chalet on an alpage, followed immediately by another with just your nuclear family in a two hour rainy, muddy trip back to your ‘home’ from the Nairobi airport.  We got a powerful reminder that we had arrived when our usually punctual driver was delayed (traffic on the rain-clogged road to the airport), and our mobile phone network being down due to the storms.  In any event, I’m glad we’re back, so that we can get our respective routines back.  Little F.’s sleep patterns, in particular, need remedial intervention if the 4 month-mark (May 21) sleep training regimen is to prove effective and painless.  We are also getting some faint reminders of how we felt when we first arrived here in September 2011: the vulnerability from the constant dangers of the roads, the inability to communicate at 100%, and, despite all this, the sheer (and this will be a weak word but true all the same) niceness of Kenyans in general .  Good to be ‘home’!

Freshly back, after a few days back we are already each feeling sane(r), clean(r), slept(er) and ready to re-engage with Kenya with a new energy. From my side (Anno), I’m hoping to shed a cool 15 pounds in the next few months as I prepare for my return to the battlefield of my office so that means a bit more discipline in my eating (i.e. no more sugar , or less anyhow) and a bit more physical activity (i.e. start playing ultimate, run, get strong and bring my bike trainer inside in the hopes of feeling the triathlete in me emerge sometime this year). I’m hoping this works. Unlike most women, breastfeeding for me means my already healthy appetite goes off the wall and I get fat, not slim, eating way more than the extra couple hundred calories suggested. On the bright side, my abs seem to be returning and I feel like my normal self again, just a heavier version.

While things were fresh, we thought we’d put down a few reflections on the trip and the return to Nairobi:

• On personal archeology: It was the first time we did back-to-back family visits, combined with meeting work colleagues and visiting friends/neighborhoods of past and present. That was unusual in and of itself but provided an interesting profile of our existence to date… sort of like doing a panorama picture on a camera or like the ‘This is your life” of Guy Smiley. It gave us a broad view of our lives and the various people in it. Not to mention, pointing out some of warts on both sides and giving us a perspective on our individual selves and the Thomas-Hussain union that we hadn’t really had before.  As a married couple, we developed a much more advanced insight into each other’s emotional subroutines and the assumption/expectation set underpinning those.  It’s given us weeks of discussion points on our respective families, our childhoods, where we grew up, where we’ve lived and where we’d like to be in the future, and how it’s all come together for us – melodramatic, perhaps, but worth mentioning.

• On the attributes of an ideal holiday: Not surprisingly, we spent a good deal of time discussing, the ideal vacation spots, the ideal type of vacation, vacation partners, activities for the kids. A few highlights… we need for there to be plenty for the kids and adults to do… our spot in Moleson-sur-Gruyere in Switzerland provided this… (see photos below). We luged (a roller coaster that you control speed), we hiked and we visited cheese and chocolate factories. Our chalet also came with a pool and sauna which was another huge plus… tonnes for everyone to do. As our family grows, the idea of a vacation home remains a fascination but not sure that we’re anywhere close to actually affording or selecting a location but certainly the idea of it remains exciting. For now, there’s more hiking and playing in Switzerland to come.

• On factoring in weather considerations: In Canada, the weather was forbidding so hibernated a bit more, visiting family and friends from high school, work and university that seem to be coalescing into a growing and a mellow social network. We really should only travel there when the weather is warmer, at least while the kiddies are relatively small.  This said, it was so cool to see S. playing for hours with her cousins…

• On having maximum fun: We appreciate more than ever the time we’re having together on my mat leave and now acutely aware of the fact that I’ll be going back to work in the next month. Accordingly we are in high drive to get our lives back on track – in fact, we are planning to move houses (from our current, rustic-charm cottage in the forest to a gleaming expat compound – convenience trumps all! – this will be the subject of another blog entry altogether)

• On the causes and effects child-rearing:  We met many old friends in the process of having and/or raising children.  Given our kaleidoscopic trip, it was fascinating to see the myriad approaches and energies applied to the process (perhaps the most subjective process in the world).  As a purely anecdotal observation, the personal attributes which I found most attractive in a friend seemed almost universally to have grown in the face of the demands of child care.  For instance, if I thought a particular friend was always very considerate, this trait would only have developed further once s/he had had a child (and extended to scenarios in which the child was not concerned).  Similarly, our friends seemed to be bringing to bear their own childhood experiences (for better or for worse) on their child raising techniques – and mostly in a proactive way (i.e. rather than simply playing out their own childhood).  For instance, a child having experienced a relatively reserved parent in childhood tended to result in that child growing up to be a relatively hands-on parent.  Without getting into specifics, the theme that emerged was that we are all making it up as we go along, much as our own parents did for us.  That’s what I found particularly liberating: the maxims which were so meaningless as a younger person (e.g. ‘this too shall pass’ and ‘just do your best’) become, when leavened with some life experience and common sense, actionable.    

• On S.: I think the trip represented a quantum leap in maturity and situational awareness for S.  She is, for instance, now fully aware of her two sets of grandparents and the corresponding sets of uncles, aunts and cousins – this being the first trip where we juxtaposed a Swiss and Canadian leg.  She also understands, for instance, which sets of people are to be communicated to in Urdu.  At the risk of sounding like the gushing parent, she is also impressively self-possessed in public situations.  On the plane which left Nairobi (take-off at 11pm local time), for example, an air hostess asked whether we wanted dinner (given the lateness of the local hour).  S., already deep into some movie involving crafty penguins and wearing huge over-ear headphones, looked up, took off the right headphone and replied, “Just dessert please.” (For the record, I did not intervene and she enjoyed her crème brule!)  Another example: at breakfast, I was trying to read the newspaper and so encouraged S. to read a magazine of her own (so that I could in turn get the peace and quiet to get through one particularly enticing article entitled ‘Enraged mob burns accused pickpocket alive’).  Among her choices on the dining table were (and this may provide insight into our family’s socio-economic self-identification): the New Yorker, the Economist and the 2012 Swiss Ikea catalogue (imported for the purposes of ripping off designs via talented local wood-workers).  S. coolly surveys this literary landscape and picks out the catalogue, saying ‘It’s ok Daddo, I’ll read the magazine about sofas.”
  
  Some photos below:

 At least one of us if getting some zzzs...

View from our favourite walk in Bellevue (see also the opening scene of the Hollywood film 'Contagion')

Cousin M. with baby F...

Panoramic view on hike route

BOB LUGE!
Below: Alpaging it up...

A meringue bigger than my head - best holiday ever!

Ladies who hike...

Below: Getting into her comfort zone on the plane.